"but that’s incest"
"but they hate each other"
"but they’re both straight"
"but one of them is dead"
Two scientists walk into a bar
The first says “I’ll have some H2O.”
The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.”
Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.
the other version
Anonymous asked: No my name is Watson
I love how Artemis doesn’t hate being famous
like every book series where the main character is famous, they’re always like OH, MISERY AND WOE, FAME IS A FICKLE FRIEND, WHY MUST I BE ENSLAVED TO MY GLORY, DON’T LOOK AT ME
but Artemis is just like PEASANTS I’M ARTEMIS FOWL YOU MAY HAVE HEARD OF ME, I FUCKED A LOT OF SHIT UP AND YOU’RE NEXT
and people just drop their weapons like OH SHIT SORRY WRONG NUMBER I HEAR MY MOTHER CALLING ME I WILL NOT PASS GO I WILL NOT COLLECT $200
and Artemis is like